It isn't a crisis.
It's a call.

You spent the first half of your life doing, achieving, and figuring things out, and it's worked out really well. And still, maybe the success doesn't feel like enough anymore, and you're not sure what you really want or what your purpose is now. That's the man I work with, because that man was me.

Our culture calls it a midlife crisis. I've learned to hear it as something ancient and far more fascinating: a call to adventure. To discover what's true for you, and live it in the world.

A private advisor to accomplished men who want to lead and live more fully.

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Aaron Meder

Aaron Meder, Chicago

My approach

Discover what's true for you,
and live it in the world.

The result is a life more aligned with who you are: clearer about what you want, steadier under pressure, closer to the people who matter, and lighter in how you carry it all. You may still do the same things, but what changes is what it's like to be the man living them.

1

See yourself clearly

Your gifts and what's good in you, what you actually want, and the patterns and defenses that kept those out of view. What is noticed can be changed.

2

Build the capacity to live it

Sit with what you find, face the fears, and make the changes you want to make. Each change you make shows you more of who you are.

3

Let direction find you

From there things get clearer. Meaning and purpose tend to find you, and you stop having to hunt for them.

4

Live it in the world

You bring what you've found into your work, your family, and the people around you.

The work draws on my experience and fascination with ancient contemplative practice, psychology, executive coaching, and how the nervous system works. We run small experiments and let what happens guide the next step.

Working together

One to one, over six to twelve months.

I work with founders, executives, and men in transition. We work in person if you're near Chicago, over video if you're not.

Engagements start at $6,000 for six months, paid half at the start and half at the midpoint. The final price depends on how often we meet and how much support you want. I also mentor one or two young men early in their careers each year at no cost, so write to me if that's you or someone you know.

How we start

The call

This is free. You tell me what's on your mind. I tell you whether I think I can help, and if I'm not the right person, I'll do my best to point you toward who is.

The first session

One actual session. This session is $500, credited toward the engagement if we continue. The goal is for you to be able to decide if this feels like the right path for you.

The shape

We choose the right shape together: how long we work together, the cadence, in person or virtual, and what to focus on.

Deeper work

For deeper work, such as retreats and immersive experiences, I help you judge whether you're ready, find experienced people I trust, prepare well, and make sense of it afterwards.

How I hold this work. I'm not a therapist, and this is not therapy or medical care. It sits alongside both, including medication, which helps many people and once helped me. I'll tell you plainly when something belongs with a clinician, I keep relationships with people I trust to refer you to, and everything you say to me stays between us. If you are in crisis, please reach out to a licensed professional first.

About

Who I am.

  • Fellow of the Society of Actuaries
  • Published research in the Journal of Portfolio Management and the CFA curriculum
  • Used that research to build an asset management business from zero to $250 billion, and led it for seven years as CEO
  • Responsible for $1.4 trillion in assets as Head of Investment for one of the world's largest asset managers
  • A decade of inner work and executive coaching

My nickname as a kid was Silent Sam. I built a career on being very good at solving hard problems and very careful about being seen. In 2015, in the middle of a presentation I'd given a hundred times, I had my first panic attack. In 2020 my brother died, and I realized the question I'd never asked him was the one I most needed to learn to ask. In 2023 I trusted my intuition and left my CEO job and stepped into the unknown.

I know what it takes to perform at the top of a demanding field, and I know what it costs when performing is the only way you know how to live. I've spent the past decade becoming increasingly fascinated with this work, and part of it for me has been learning to own what I'm good at. My gift has always been taking something complex and making it simple. This is where I use that gift now.

Read the full story
In their words

From men doing this work.

"Aaron has had a tremendous impact on my journey through a pivotal point in my life and career. His focus on the transition from doing great things to being great has helped me break through limitations and become a better version of myself, both personally and professionally. With his guidance, I approach life more intentionally and feel a greater sense of purpose."

Richard Bailey, Insurance Executive, San Diego

"Having been in a men's group with Aaron for well over a year, I am constantly struck by his calm, thorough nature. He is an amazing listener who truly thinks deeply before he speaks. He brings people together and makes everyone feel extremely comfortable. When Aaron shares his perspective, it carries immense weight and clarity. If you want a guide who genuinely cares, I can't recommend Aaron enough."

Brian E., Chicago

"Men can have a tendency to bury their emotions. We've been taught that expressing feelings and vulnerabilities will be interpreted as weakness. Aaron has helped show me how ridiculous that is. Real strength comes from being honest with yourself. Aaron listens, and then knows which questions to ask to help you dig deeper. True peace and satisfaction can't come without a willingness to open up."

Joey S., Chicago
Essays

Essays, by email.

Start

Start with a conversation.

Book a confidential conversation